The Power of Being Positive

Being Positive

It’s when things are tough that being positive matters most.

I have been working with online groups in our communities over the past couple of weeks and there is a recurring theme, ‘How can we stay positive?’. Here are some of the ideas we have been discussing in our workshops that I hope you will find helpful. These are often things that we already know, but it helps to remind ourselves of them when things are tough.

Remaining positive is a mental skill that we can practise, and like with any other skill, we use it or lose it. Sometimes it’s more challenging than others and we need to consciously practice it daily to reap the benefits for our overall happiness and wellbeing.

Here are a few key things to reflect on:

1.    Being positive is all about language 

Reframe language in the positive

 Using positive language; saying what we want to happen, not what we don’t want to happen, creates a positive impact within ourselves and with others.

2.    Being positive starts with us

 Being positive with ourselves is often much more challenging than being positive with other people.

Focus on your marvellous qualities and skills. Remind yourself of them: say them, write them down, remind yourself of complements from others and accept complements gratefully and humbly. 

Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes or not doing something you set out to do; remember what you have learned from you experience. Reflect, reset and promise yourself to keep learning, improving and moving forward.

3.    Being positive is a choice

‘This the last of human freedoms – to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way’.

    Viktor Frankl – Concentration Camp survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning.

4.    Be an energy giver

Energy givers are positive, enthusiastic (sometimes very quietly), are thankful and appreciative of others, help others (without taking over), find solutions.

Talking about our problems is a draining habit.

Talk about your joys.

5.    Protect yourself from the ‘mood hoovers’.

 We all have some ‘mood hoovers’ in our lives and some of them are close family and friends that we love! Some we can distance ourselves from. To protect ourselves we need to use our ‘positive ball’ or ‘positive bubble’. Let the positive in and let the negative bounce off.

Of course, we want to be there for those who need us, but if we allow them to drain our energy and mood, we are not going to be in a good position to help. Sometimes people just need us to listen and hear and it’s great if we can do that for people without coming away drained.

6.    Find things that help you to feel positive

We all need some help with remaining positive, especially when times are tough. Counterbalance negative news in challenging times, by finding things that uplift you, distract you, absorb you, make you smile, are fun and make you laugh out loud. Spend time (virtually and on the phone at the moment) with energy givers. Watch, listen to, read, look at things that help you to positively grow and learn, and things that bring you joy.

Find stories about people who inspire you in sports, music, film, business (whatever your interests are) and see how they have remained positive in the tough times. Watch videos; find images and quotes that help you. Ditch the soaps, TV’s equivalent of ‘mood hoovers’, and find something that uplifts you!

7.    ‘How can we be relentlessly positive? That’s not possible’

We are going to feel sad, angry, frustrated, low. These are natural human emotions that we need to acknowledge. It is not that we never experience negative emotions, but we trust that they will pass, and we can look beyond. We look for solutions. We think of the possible rather than being limited by, ‘1001 reasons why not’ thinking and people.

‘Being a positive person doesn't mean you never have negative thoughts. It just means you don't allow them space to take root and grow to control your life.’

Lorri Faye

 8.    ‘It’s all right for you’

It’s natural for us to look at other people and think that they are OK, whilst we aren’t. It’s natural to feel that, the grass is greener for others. We actually don’t know what’s going on in most people’s lives or minds. Whilst ever we judge others, or measure ourselves against someone else’s yardstick, we can waste energy on envy, rather than ignoring them or seeing what we can learn from them.

9.    ‘I’m a realist’

I’ve so often been told I’m too idealistic, too positive, only see the good in people. We don’t achieve anything without a healthy dose of idealism, positivity, high expectations, creating positive change and seeing the good in people.

Being realistic often means doing the same things we’ve always done and expecting that nothing can, or will, change. The ones who are wedded to, ‘being realistic’ often have low expectations, a fixed mindset and are fearful, for all sorts of reasons, of new ways of doing things.

I think that there are always ways to improve for ourselves and those around us. No matter what the circumstances, there are ways people can lean into their potential and thrive. 

‘Positive thinking won’t let you do anything, but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will’.

Zig Ziglar

10. Being Thankful – maintain an attitude of gratitude

Beverley Burton

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